Attacked by Humility

The Lord has shown me how spiritually proud I am. I think I'm better than... my kids.

I think this is the hardest thing for me to comprehend but logically I know it to be true. The very things that I want them to do, I stopped doing long ago. Where I want them to live humbly, I live with pride. And so my kids don't see me as an example, just as a story teller.

Jesus lived it, even though they hated on him, he continued to live humbly. I need to do the same. Too many times I've used the words of how my children's action appears as hatred toward me.

It doesn't matter. I will change and do what needs to be done. And I will pray for change in them.

God, change my heart again. Make ME who you want ME to be. Make me humble in all areas. Humble enough to ask for help. Humble enough to apologize. Humble enough to do simple work. Humble enough to put others first.

God I pray for my boys. I pray for Solomon and ask that you help him to finish well and find the dream he is chasing. Let me be OK with his choices and let him find love where you have set it in his heart. I pray also for Sydney as she looks to join him in this adventure of life. May you bless them and help them to be in unity. Challenge them and grow them in your love. Give them your heart for others.

Please work in Nathan as well. I pray for his wisdom. His heart is big. I don't understand why he has failed to find work. Please change this. Help him to find success this summer. Help me to get out of the way.

Help Jesse in his studies and in his ability to understand. Help him to rise up and take responsibility for his life. He is capable. Help his priorities to be his actions. And help him to find you and make you his Priority.

The same with Andrew. He is so gifted. Thank you for all you have put in him. Let his heart be filled with the things of you that he might pursue you first, ahead of worldly actions. Help Dawn and I to guide him toward a life of meaning rather than a life of emptiness.

Last, help me to see Dawn for the amazing woman she is. Help me to recognize her work and give her praise for sustaining us all this time.